Tainted Love
by Lovelyfanfics
Summary: Sometimes what we think we want is not what we get. And the things we get turn out to be just what we needed. Happiness and love finds Kathryn...finally.


Kathryn Merteuil, for once in her life, was happy, truly happy. She let out a satisfied sigh. Turning in the arms of the man she was laying against, she gave him a slow, soft kiss.

The curly blond-haired man pulled away. "Stop avoiding. Kathryn, you know we'll have to set a date."

He gave her his puppy dog look along with that cute pout that he does when he wants to get his way. He was a delicious third bite of dessert that she just couldn't resist. Oh, it really wasn't fair, she thought. Somehow, even when he was being stubborn he still looked like a GQ model. And it didn't help that he was not wearing much, only his boxers. Then again, maybe it was good he wasn't wearing the beautiful, expensive Armani suit she bought him. She didn't want to remember those kinds of memories.

"Couldn't we just wait? We've only been engaged for less than three weeks."

He loved that she was with him, and that he finally got what he wanted. Like his father always told him- go after what you want with all the passion you have; nine times out of ten you'll get it.

"I thought women were supposed to be into this thing, you know- the planning, the micromanaging of wedding details. And unless I'm mistaken the most important part of wedding planning is the date."

Sitting up suddenly on the ivory couch, she sat crossed legged in front of him and stared. "And that is what my mom and a wedding planner are for. Look, I really don't care how or when or where we get married. I just want to get married.—And not exactly next week. I think a long engagement would be good."

"How long of an engagement?"

She settled against him again, wrapping her arms around his trim waist, and whispered into his chest

"What? Three years?"

"Well if not that, maybe a year or two." She rested her chin on his chest and gave him one of her I-dare-you-to-challenge-me looks. She always got what she wanted; she didn't need to pout or look pretty (not that her looks didn't help).

"How about we compromise? Can you do that?"

She gave it some thought. "Ok, just be reasonable."

"Three months."

"Three months? How is that a reasonable? That is not enough time to get settled into a completely new life. And I doubt anyone can plan a Manhattan wedding in that short amount of time."

"Three months is a good amount of time. I'm very attached to that number. You do remember we started dating almost three months ago."

"How could I forget? You proposed on our second month anniversary."

He chuckled. "I totally had you swept off your feet."

"Don't be so smug, I could have choked on the ring you placed in my wineglass."

"Well, it's the intention that counts. I saved for weeks to afford that fancy restaurant, reserving that city skyline view, and planning the exact moment for the perfect sunset to set the mood."

"Ok, I guess you get some brownie points for sentimentality of the number thing. Are you sure you're a guy?"

"Hey, how sexist is that?"

"Just payback for saying all women should like wedding planning. It's not that I don't want to marry you; I'd just rather have my mom take over."

"Yeah, that's another thing. I have faith in your mom. She is one scary lady, so I think she can get it done within a three month deadline."

Kathryn got up from her comfortable position and started pacing in front of her fiancé. "Well you made some valid arguments, but you forgot that, one, most normal people date for longer and two, most people have at least a year long engagement."

He sat up straight on the couch blinked his eyes at her. "We've never been a typical couple."

"And you must remember that I like my apartment and my life. And it'll take some time for me to adjust to a new life. So in conclusion, I think we should wait to set a date and it definitely should not be in three months." She stopped her pacing and stood still in front of him. She held her breath and hoped she had been convincing.

He took her hands in his and pulled her gently towards him, and settled her on his lap.

"Honey, you're lawyer parts are showing."

"I'm trying to be serious. You never take what I say seriously."

"I am taking you seriously. How about we compr-"

"No!"

"Hey, you're freaking out."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No. I just want to have a reasonable amount of time to enjoy my singleness. Plus how do I know I'm not just using you, because you look like-"

"And how do you know I'm not just using you for your money?" He tried to steer her away from her path of thought.

But her past was never far from her thoughts. She tried hard not to let her fiancé know that she thought about Sebastian. All. The. Time. And it was really hard with her fiancé looking exactly like the dead man. She ignored that little longing in her heart. She brushed it aside; She was pretty sure that it was just guilt and a little unsatisfied lust.

She focused on erasing his insecurities aboutnot being rich enough or having the right background to be with her. "Yeah, sure. And that is why I had to literally throw myself at you."

"I seem to remember you weren't really friendly when we first met."

"I thought you were a rapist or a mugger."

"Yeah, a mugger that tried to return your purse that you left on the last subway train."

"You remembered it wrong, that was the second time we ran into each other." She grimaced and shook her head like a duck shakes off water droplets. "But why exactly did you follow me 3 stations to return it? Wouldn't you say that is a little suspicious?" she teased with a gloating glint in her eye.

He tickled her to lighten the mood and sidestep the issues. He didn't want her to think about her stepbrother and his twin brother. He absolutely wanted to wipe away the memory of what happened to her the day before he met her. In a way it had been a tragic blessing. But with his shared DNA to her stepbrother it was only a matter of time they would have met.

"Seriously, if you hadn't been there when-"

"Oh, please stop-"

"No, I will be forever grateful. You saved me that day from something truly horrible. I never even thought that I could become like one of my clients. I fight for the underdogs and the victims- giving them back their power in court, but I never thought I would have to be one of them."

"Let's not talk about it."

"Just listen, it's something I need to say."

She waited for him to look at her.

"You didn't just save me from being raped; you saved me from myself."

He scoffed and shook his head.

"No, you did. I was depressed, although I may not have seemed it. After Sebastian died, all I thought about was how great it would be to join him. I fantasized about ways to do it. Before I used to work 12-hour days, 7 days a week. I thought that was normal. I thought it was normal to use drugs and be stick thin."

And normal to lust after a stepbrother I practically grew up with. But she kept that part to herself. Some things he would never be accepting of.

She waited for him to say something. "Well…" she said after she couldn't take the suspense any longer.

"Thank you, I guess. But I'm not really deserving."

In response she brushed her lips lightly over his. "That's for being humble." She kissed him again, this time on his nose. "That's for being mine." She nipped at his ears. "That's for letting me vent just now, and all the other times." She trailed kisses to his mouth. She kissed him firmer on his mouth, using her tongue to persuade him that he was all that she ever wanted or needed it.

When they finally broke off for air, he rested his forehead against hers, and said, "And what was that for?"

"That's for being you."

He smiled. But her next words made him cringle his eyebrows.

"And for being my savior."

"You didn't need saving, if the injury you did to me when I tried to return your purse was any indication."

"Yeah, sorry about elbowing you in the gut, stomping on your foot, and crushing your…ah…you know. I'm really sorry."

"I guess we're even. I sort of lied to you about our first meeting."

She laughed and said, "It's not you were the one who asked someone to attack me."

He hugged her tightly, and she had her arms pinned against the side of her body. It can't get anymore uncomfortable, she thought. Then he started crying, really hard crying. She wiggled her arms free and patted his back tentatively. "There, there…um…want to talk about it?"

He sniffed and then laughed and cried at the same time. "You know, you really aren't good at this."

"Sorry, I'm trying though. Come on, tell me what's wrong?"

"You'll always love me, right?"

"Of course."

"I didn't save you, someone who looked like me saved you."

"And who would that be? Your stunt double?"

He raised his eyebrows.

This time her laugh came out weak, and she bit her cheek trying not to cry. "You can't mean…you…he…hhh-he's dead. Sebastian's dead. I saw his corpse. I was at his funeral. I gave the eulogy damnit, and in front of the casket with said body."

"He's alive."

"I don't believe you. It doesn't make any sense. He loved Annette, and he was happy. He had no reason to give that up. He didn't fake his death. He really is dead. I know."

"You're babbling."

"I'm being sensible, reasonable. Ha, you would have told me earlier if this is true. You wouldn't have pretended."

"And that's why I feel so guilty. Maybe, you're right. It probably wasn't him, it was dark that night. I just know it wasn't me. But after that guy...your rap-ah...attacker got his sentence and was dragged out of the courtroom cursing and accusing me of being the one thwarting the attack..." he shrugged his shoulders. "I saw it as an opportunity to get closer, to be more than just the friend who encouraged you to report your assault."


End file.
